My wife, Christine, is nothing short of miraculous in my mind. Now more then ever. I have always admired her for many reasons, but watching her rise to this occasion with our little boy has been one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Christine would be the first one to admit to most that she was never a domestic champion before we decided to start our family. One of my favorite qualities of her's is that she is the epitome of a modern independent woman that has never needed a man in the traditional sense of a machismo bread-winning care taker. This is something that was actually a concern of hers as we planned our family. She had doubts about her own ability to become the mother she wanted to be. However, even before Amos got sick I was astonished at how she took to the role of motherhood so much more naturally then either of us anticipated. Then, when Amos got sick she rose to the occasion beyond what I had ever imagined. I have to be honest in admitting that the burdens of this battle with cancer for Amos has fallen more on Christine then anyone. Amos doesn't really know what is going on, and as such also doesn't really know any better about what his life is really supposed to be like. He is just a happy kid. For us as parents it is the worst thing short of loosing him that I can imagine, and if I am honest it is even worse for Christine then me. Yes, Amos needs me to be there for him and be a good Dad now, but more then anything else in the world… he needs his momma. She feels this in her heart as well, and the emotional burden for her is unrelenting and incredibly powerful. I can empathize and appreciate it, but I don't think I can fully understand. I was beginning to notice the toll it was taking on her health and temperament. As hard as I tried I could not be of much relief to her though. What she really needed was to clone herself a time or two over. While that is obviously not realistic we were about to receive a little help from friends that was exactly the proper prescription for her.
^Abbey Gehring and Amy Joyce, left their busy lives in Wisconsin and came to help their dear friend in need. Christine grew up in the same hometown as me. As such, she also has been privy to the same kind of small hometown friends that I have been fortunate to have. Christine has a group of girlfriends from back home in Wisconsin that are the kind of lifelong confidants that drop everything and show up when you need them most. The kind of friends your kids call Aunt and Uncle despite the lack of a real descendant. Pictured above, Amos snuggles into a story with his Auntie Abbey. As I said, what Christine needed most was a clone, but since that was not happening the second best thing in my mind is another fabulous mother that is sewn from the same cloth as my wife. Who better then her dearest friends who have themselves become excellent mothers since the days we all shared as young crazy high school kids.
^Abbey came for the first week, and then Amy came for another week after Abbey. You see, Christine didn't want or need time away from the ordeal with friends to recharge like I did. She wanted help in the overwhelming duties of mothering not only a kid with cancer, but a baby boy with cancer. One-year olds are a lot of work all on their own, but add in the demands of cancer and the task is nearly impossible alone. Abbey and Amy came and cooked, cleaned, baby sat, changed diapers, fed Amos, helped with doctor visits and all kinds of other invaluably helpful assistance. They were the next best thing to a perfect clone of Christine.
^After Amy took over and Abbey went back home to her own young family her birthday came. Christine, Amy, and Amos posed for this celebratory picture to send to Abbey for her birthday. We celebrated for her, and either way it was a good reason to put an adorable party hat on Amos. The smile on Christine's face says it all. I don't expect anyone else to notice, but the light behind her eyes in this photo is brighter then it has been in quite some time. All kidding aside, I really can't express how big of a deal it was for us to have these two come help us out. When my friends came they served to come take me out of it for just a moment to gain some perspective, and as a result, some relief. When these ladies came they served to jump into Christine's perspective and lighten the load that I could never take off her. I was amazed at the impact it had on Christine. One night as Christine, Amy, and Amos had an impromptu dance party in the living room the whole house filled with the giggles of two grown woman and one little boy. I sat back into the couch and watched as my recently stressed, tightly wound, and overwhelmed wife turned back into the light-hearted beautiful happy woman I married and started this family with. The whole scene seemed to turn to slow motion and I nearly cried as I watched Christine dance around our giggling little boy with her oldest friend in the world donning the largest and lightest smile I have seen on her face in a while. It looked like I can only imagine it would have if you rewound twenty-five years to a bedroom sleepover scene of these women as young girls dancing on a bed late at night to some boy band without a care in the world. In the midst of this most difficult of battles fighting cancer with our son, there was a fleeting moment there where it was just two dancing girls, and one happy little boy, giggling like time was standing still and none of us had anything to worry about. It was like magic. Abbey and Amy's timing could not have been better. Christine has a burden in this cancer fight that even I can not fully understand. However, her friends understood her, and what she needed. They came to her rescue, and as a result mine as well. I was struggling to help my wife and was ill-equipped to do so, but Abbey and Amy had all the right tools. As I have now said so many times, I don't think I can ever properly thank them for what they did for us. My only hope is that they saw the truly genuine smile on Christine's face and the light in her eyes that they gave back to her. We are getting ready for the transplant round and the most difficult stretch of this war to date yet. Abbey and Amy came right in time to help us get our hearts and heads in the right place to take it on. Now we are recharged and ready to forge ahead. This war has wounded us over and over, but throughout each battle we have been aided and healed by the people who care about us. There have been many times we were both unsure if we could keep fighting, but here we are now approaching the final battle and we stand ready once again with full hearts and sound minds due in large part to a little help from our friends.
