It has been a few months now since Amos' doctors had cleared him to be able to socialize and play with other kids. It has also been a rather steep learning curve for him as well. At first, he did not know what to do. At first, he would throw a fit if anyone would get close to him, or talk to him. Then in time he got a little better. He would not freak out as much, but rather he would literally stick both index fingers into his nose and lay down flat on the ground. He would cautiously watch other kids at the playground from a distance, but avoid interaction. Slowly, but surely, he began to come around. My wife Christine's dear friend from our hometown, Abbey Gerhing, came into town with her 4-year old girl, Avery. By the time they arrived Amos was starting to warm up to new people a little more. Amos had met Abbey and Avery before when he was younger, but I am not sure he was able to remember them. However, with a little warm-up time he had taken to them like they'd been around forever.
^Before too long Avery and Amos were playing together and sharing toys like the best of friends. Maybe the vibes from their momma's lifelong friendship rubbed off on them some, but either way it was heartwarming to see him playing with her. I could literally see the anxieties melting with each new toy he pulled out for her.
^Watching him lead Abbey, or "Auntie Bibi" as we've come to call her, around the woods and over this bridge was like a dream come true. It seems we have milestones like this nearly every week now since we have left the hospital. Amos is improving so fast, and learning with equal speed. Amos would proclaim, "Bibi walk!", and he would reach out for her. Abbey and Christine go way back to elementary school days, and I have known them both as the best of friends nearly as long. I have always loved all of Christine's girlfriends from the hometown, and it has always been a dream of ours that our kids and their kids would grow up to be great friends as well. Watching Amos fall in love with Abbey and Avery just like his mom and I was truly a gift. When Amos was really sick in the deepest days of his cancer fight I would whisper to him in his comatose state all kinds of stories about all the people from our hometown just like Abbey and Avery. I would tell him about the caliber of people they all are and how much he was going to love them just like his mom and I do. I told him about all the fun we'd had growing up and how if he would just keep on fighting that one day he too would get the chance to meet them all, make his own stories, and fall in love with all of them just like us. Watching him make these memories with them and warm up to them just like we had hoped he would was just as glorious as I had made it out to be when I was whispering the grandiose stories to him in the intensive care unit as he lay motionless with a machine breathing for him.
^Then there was this. I can't really even try to explain how my heart smiles when I look at this picture. Just a kid. A happy kid excited for Halloween, and ready to go trick-or-treating with his best buddy, Murphy. Pat Sajack and Vanna White! Christine is an ardent "Wheel Watcher" and in the hospital Amos and her developed a habit of watching the Wheel of Fortune every night it was on. Amos grew to love the show as much as his Momma does. He'd even clap from the hospital crib when someone would solve a puzzle on the show. When it came time for Halloween it just made sense that he'd dress up as his favorite television personality just like a lot of kids do. For most kids though that would be some kind of cartoon character or something, but seeing as though Amos' life thus far has been anything but normal it would make sense that his favorite television show would follow suit. Also, after we came up with the idea of Amos and Murphy as Pat and Vanna the thought of it was just way to damn cute not to go for it. Christine got creative, and made the costumes happen. I must say it was just as cute as we had envisioned it, and maybe even more so when he had as much fun with it as he did. Running around with all the kids trick-or-treating like he was just another one of them made it even better.
^Like any kid who has always wanted know if it is possible to ride the dog, Amos gave it a try. Of course, Murphy let him know rather quickly that the idea wasn't going to work out, but in her usual sweet manner it was with an attack of face licks that she gave him that message. He simply thought it was a fun way to get her to lick him, which, like a lot of kids, is also one of his favorite things to do with her. She really is amazing with him. She is so gentle and patient that sometimes I feel like I could learn a bit of that calm collectedness from her.
^In my work life I had a really busy stretch come on with a Wilderness First Responder course I needed to take for my ski career advancement, as well as some Delta double shifts on either end of the intense medical and rescue course. I had not seen him for nearly a full week, and then the following week he was going to be traveling back to Wisconsin with Christine for the holidays as well. So I really only had a little bit of time with him between the two long stretches of not seeing him for a week at a time. It was really kind of tough for me, but that just meant I had to really make our time count while I had it. As Amos would have it we read a lot of books. Christine snuck these pictures when we weren't paying attention...
^…or just flat out napping.
^However, before I knew it the time had come for Amos and Christine to leave. In this picture he was "calling Nonni" on his play phone to let her know he was coming. Amos and Christine were going to be heading home to Wisconsin to visit our families, and I had to stay back to handle some remodel work I had to do in the house while they were going to be gone. I will meet them back there after I get done with the remodel work and also put in my Delta shifts for the week. I was sad to see them go again, but I was so excited for Amos to be able to travel again. I had also whispered tales of all the places we would take him in those same whispered breaths in the intensive care unit. I had told him all about airplanes and how they would take us all over this world. I dreamt of the day I would add him to the flight benefit list perk that comes with my night job with Delta airlines. When Christine pulled up the travel website that day, we saw his name listed, and we booked him into his first airplane seat all his own. I was sad that I would not be able to be in the seat next to him with Christine. However, Christine assured me that she'd send me a picture of the little guy all snuggled into his seat on the early morning flight with his little feet wrapped up in footy pajamas barely hanging off the end of his airplane seat. I yearned to be able to experience the flight with them. I wanted to be a part of that milestone. I wanted to see him looking out the windows watching the workers just like I always see all the other regular kids doing as I work just outside those very windows. I just want to be with him all the time now cherishing all these moments of him doing the things that all regular kids get to do. I want to hang on to that appreciation that we have gained now living through the hard times that comes with a cancer fight. I don't ever want to forget how good it feels to see him do all these things that most parents are fortunate to take for granted. I don't ever want to lose that gratitude, that blessing, that gift to have my little superhero shed his metaphorical cape of survivorship and finally get to be... just a kid.
